


What Happens In Tesco...

by BunnyBopper



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Ficlet, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:08:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23960578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BunnyBopper/pseuds/BunnyBopper
Summary: We all know the sad content of one of the memories Snape places in the Pensieve prior to every Occlumency lesson, but what about the other two?
Relationships: Severus Snape/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 48





	What Happens In Tesco...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MarshmallowMcGonagall](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarshmallowMcGonagall/gifts).



> I was challenged to write this by MarshmallowMcGonagall after reading their excellent ficlet about Snape calling Minerva 'mum' in front of all the staff. Based on [this](https://bunny-bopper.tumblr.com/post/616934678179545088/marshmallowmcgonagall-dastardly-lemondrops) incredible tumblr post!

Severus waited until he could no longer hear Potter’s footstep echo through the dungeon corridors before lifting the final memory from the Pensieve. He held it in the air, watching the thick, gossamer strand float from the tip of his wand. Something made him hesitate before placing in back inside his head. The first to return had been so painful it was almost too much to bear; it had to be his most awful memory, the first dreadful mistake that lead to him making so many others. The second, while still making him cringe horribly, had at least left him with a bittersweet feeling at the other memories it had sparked. Minerva always knew what to say (and what not to). 

  
But this final memory… it had a very different feel to it. The thing practically pulsed with a thrilling energy. Severus had the distinct feeling that this memory was a good one. A good memory so personal, and so private he had to take extra steps to ensure it was never broken into? He couldn’t even begin to imagine… 

  
Slowly, gently, he set the glistening strand back down into the bowl. He watched it swirl for a moment before righting himself and casting a quick anti-intruder charm on his office. It wouldn’t do to be interrupted by anyone in such a vulnerable state. 

  
He hesitated after turning back to the Pensieve and the memory within. Would it really be so bad to relive something good for a change? It was his memory after all… not like he was doing anything wrong… 

  
Before he could argue with himself any longer, Severus submerged his face into the magical liquid, a cool tingle washed over him as the darkness of his office melted away into the into the blindingly bright whiteness of… 

  
…Tesco? 

  
Severus took a minute to get his bearings before catching sight of himself; a lone figure standing in the Tupperware aisle. He must have been about twenty-seven, twenty-eight? Well into the misery of his teaching years. Judging by his muggle attire (old jeans and a faded white t-shirt, a hole in the collar that almost looked like it was meant to be there, commandeered from his dear father’s possessions no doubt) he was back in Cokeworth for the holidays. 

  
Severus folded his arms and glared at his younger self as he watched him pick up one of the lidded plastic containers, replace it with a shake of his head, before repeating the process over again. He wanted to grab himself by the shoulders and shake him! This was it? This was the sacred, precious memory that had to be shielded from prying eyes? His brief dalliance with muggle containers for storing potions ingredients?! 

  
“You ain’t half takin your time,” came a voice from out of nowhere. 

  
Both Severuses turned round simultaneously. Before them stood a man who seemed to have embraced eighties punk to its fullest. It was hard to say whether his brightly coloured mohawk or the chain looping from his nose to his ear was the first thing your eyes were drawn to. His heavy frame was clad head to toe in leather and the number of spikes on his jacker were rivalled only by his boots. And he was wearing a look that said he had little patience for dawdling shoppers. 

  
Handsome was not a word you could use to describe him, but young Severus seemed enamoured all the same. He always did have the worst taste in men. 

  
“Just a box innit,” the man continued reaching over Severus to grab the first orange container he could. “Ya put food in it. End of.”

  
“Well actually,” past Severus began, “there is rather a lot more to it than that.”

  
The man turned, perhaps surprised by the sophistication in Severus’ voice, so at odds with his shabby clothes. The years spent learning etiquette from Lucius had never left him.

“Oh yeah?” he asked, amused and curious. 

  
“Indeed. It has to have a good seal. That’s what keeps things fresh. You see this one-” past Severus reached out to take hold of one of the supermarket’s own brand ones, “-this wouldn’t do at all. Bat spleens would keep better in a rubbish bin.” 

  
Present Severus watched with horror as past Severus went rigid, realising what had slipped out. The punk cocked his head to one side. “Whad’yousay? _Bat_ spleens?” 

  
“Err… no no you must have misheard!” past Severus stammered, eloquence nowhere to be found. “I said…uh…black beans?” 

  
“No you didn’t,” the punk said, abandoning his basket in enthusiasm. “You’re into some weird shit ain’t you? Like Ozzy?” 

  
Past Severus laughed nervously while present Severus slapped his palm over his face in despair. “Something like that,” he said. 

  
“Cool. That’s cool.” The man sidled up closer to Severus’ younger self, eyes trailing him up and down. His face broke into a wry smile at young Severus’ flush. “So, uh, fancy getting a drink?” 

  
Present Severus rolled his eyes and waited. A rejection was surely coming. There was no way any version of himself would go for a drink with this muggle, no matter how desperate. It would just be far too complicated. He watched as his past self placed the flimsy container back on to the shelf deliberately. When he finally turned back to the man his face was full of determination and… anticipation? 

  
“Let’s skip the drink and get right to it shall we?” he said, indicating his head toward the broken emergency exit at the back of the shop, swinging open to reveal the industrial sized bins at the back of the shop. 

  
The man grinned. “You really are into some weird shit,” he said as he followed past Severus towards the exit. 

  
Present Severus stayed where he was, torn between intrigue and disgust. Did he really thing so little of himself back then that he would let any random stranger shag him behind Tesco?! No. He would have remembered if there were others. This was a one-time thing, giving in to a dark temptation one more time, feeling alive for a moment in the midst of so much emptiness. He had to admit there was something enticing about the whole sordid affair. 

  
With an intake of breath, he followed the two of them outside. 


End file.
